Work has kept me out of town lately and my poor Dart has sat neglected with an odd number of lobes on the cam. I finally got time to order a new cam (COMP this time...not another MP 509) with less duration and a little less lift. Get it all back together and things go smoothly so before long it's running again and I figure a test and tune session are in order. I back out of my mom's driveway (this is and has always been my 'shop' as I see no reason to move years of accumulated crap to another location) back down the road a ways and proceed to 'stage' my car. The neighbors know whats about to occur so they come outside to watch. I flog the gas and the car really responds well....comes unstuck and skates sideways for 10 yards before I chicken out and let off. The crowd cheers and one old man offers me eggs. He keeps chickens in a small coop behind his house and that's his way of being neighborly. I convince myself that this is going to be the day and load the car, my son and his girlfriend and go to the track. $35 for all of us to get in and there are lot's of cars and it's cool and clear and dry...perfect!
First run up and I do a tail wagging burnout that makes all the starter line people get in their "Get ready to run like a mofo" stance but doesn't bother me, they need to keep on their toes anyways....this thing is running great. Matched up with some slick looking Cougar with crap sticking out of the hood. Green light and I mat it...car feels like it's on nitrous but I know its not....getting a fuzzy feeling just thinking of next run hitting it with a shot. Pulling hard away from old Mercury puss and just getting ready to slam 2nd when the car farts a loud puff of exhaust smoke and falls on its face.....Cougar blatts by me on his way to a 12 something run. Car runs so I idle on down the track. Right at the end I hammer it again in 2nd and it runs good til it gets to 4500 rpm and then falls off again. This is getting to be a habit and Im a little miffed.
Back at the pits we check fuel pressure and change timing from 34 to 38. It's all I know to do at this point. Jump back in and start strapping in while yelling at the kid to "Open the bottle, dammit!" Im so disgusted that Im gonna hit it with the NOS system even tho it's obviously not right. Hit starter switch..........dead battery. "Close the bottle, dammit!"
Borrow looooong extension cord and batt charger from pit neighbor's generator setup and hook it up. Car starts...have kid back car up and get it on the trailer 'Quickly before it dies again!" Wheel ramp falls off after front tires go on trailer, left rear hanging in space....back car up and replace ramp....car dies. Hook charger back up and wait for a second, car fires.....drives on trailer while dragging battery charger out of my hands. Sheesh....bet the guy is sorry he ever met us as we are kinda hard on his equipment.
Return batt charger to friendly Duster owner who is also having engine rpm (or lack thereof) problems. Offer my advice on his problem then think about Keystone Cop routine I just performed and wonder if I would even take my own advice.
Leave track again with tail tucked between legs.
Are you sure I can't open a 60 ft. strip in front of my mom's house? My car runs great there.

ps. I charged the batt all morning...guess I have a dead cell.