I've about had it with my crappy neighbor

[Mopartist]

How about some advice on how to deal with a shitty neighbor? Last summer; this family moved in next door. At first, they were nice enough people; but soon after; they made a dirt bike track in their back yard; which is about 30 feet from my front door as my house is sideways on the lot. (I live in the country on an acre) OK; so during the summer months; I put up with the constant buzzing of two stroke bikes every evening. Then winter comes, and as I'm plowing our road; the guys wife comes out and asks if I would plow their driveway. No problem; but after 3 times within a month; I had to tell her that the other neighbors PAY me to keep their driveways up. So; she gives me a check for 20 bucks, and of coarse; it bounces. So I keep my mouth shut; trying not to be a prick. Then as winter goes on; the trash trailer he parked next to my driveway is now starting to overflow; and the wild animals are dragging his garbage into my property. Now on top of all this; he built aviaries in the back yard (also 30 feet from my front door) And the turkeys; geese; swans; and chickens are making racket 16 hours or so a day. My neighbor on the other side of me went down to the city offices and made a formal complaint concerning the trash trailer; and they make him empty it. But he returns and parks it right back where he had it!!!! (It'll be overflowing again in a month or so) Now tonight; I come home and see his buddy; who has a piece of shat Bronco II without a working starter motor parked almost blocking my driveway so he can roll it down the hill to start it in the morning (because he's now living in an old 70s camp trailer in the driveway) I'm about to blow a fuse!!! Fuggin hillbillies!!! Why do I have to tell the guy how to be a decent human being and quit shitting all over his neighborhood? Any ideas on how to handle this LEGALLY? 

[Bigcube]

No advice for you but that sucks 

[speedymopars]

Look into your zoning laws, see if he pulled permits for the aviaries, call the health inspector. Keep on him about the trash, make it in your plan to call the city every other week. See if he can legally park the dumspter where it is. When he parks his car on your property, just tow it, you don't need to get or notify him. Most places won't let you live in a motorhome even on your own property unless it is waivered as during construction, or they pay their taxes as a moblehome / rv park (read: permits and fees). Keep calling the local officals over and over again, and play dumb if they ask you about it and you don't want a conflict.

For the plowing, if they want it, send them a bill at the end of the month at normal rates. No favors.
It is going to be a pain for you, but your persistance will cause him enough grief to either clean up his act or move.


You could always start a rock band and play right next to the aviaries, birds hate that.
My buddy would shut his water off in the middle of the night, then seal the water meter with concrete, but that's just him.

[blown71duster]

 Does the guy in the trailer look like this.


Mornin, shitters full

[acpat]

1. A bag of rat poison thrown in the avirary fixes that problem.

2. Simplex nails fixes the dirt bike problem. two sugar cubes works well if they leave them outside.

3. Call codes on trailer. 

4. Cresent wrench shuts off gas meter/propane tank. (frozen pipes have to leave for a while)

5. 2 Asprin and milk kills cats ( I hate cats)

6. If all else fails you can 30/06 the neighbor hood transformer and then play rambo music in the dark on your battery operated radio   

7. My neighbors leave me very much alone............Thanks for the water meter idea

[68_Val_Sedan]

1. A bag of rat poison thrown in the avirary fixes that problem.

2. Simplex nails fixes the dirt bike problem. two sugar cubes works well if they leave them outside.

3. Call codes on trailer. 

4. Cresent wrench shuts off gas meter/propane tank. (frozen pipes have to leave for a while)

5. 2 Asprin and milk kills cats ( I hate cats)

6. If all else fails you can 30/06 the neighbor hood transformer and then play rambo music in the dark on your battery operated radio   

7. My neighbors leave me very much alone............Thanks for the water meter idea

Dude .. your killing me .... 

[318_Magnum]

1. A bag of rat poison thrown in the avirary fixes that problem.

2. Simplex nails fixes the dirt bike problem. two sugar cubes works well if they leave them outside.

3. Call codes on trailer. 

4. Cresent wrench shuts off gas meter/propane tank. (frozen pipes have to leave for a while)

5. 2 Asprin and milk kills cats ( I hate cats)

6. If all else fails you can 30/06 the neighbor hood transformer and then play rambo music in the dark on your battery operated radio   

7. My neighbors leave me very much alone............Thanks for the water meter idea

A man of my own heart!
I LOVE shitty neighbors...
Gives me the opportunity to exercise all of the deviously witty shit that I come up with when I'm bored.
For example:

17mm CS/CN rounds are available through those mail-order self-defense websites (ya know, the ones for drug dealers and numerous other varieties of whackos) and shoot perfectly out of any standard .68 caliber paintball gun. Who hasn't wanted to tear gas a neighbor at some point?

Dogs love Ex-Lax and it doesn't hurt 'em in smaller quantities. Feed two cubes to that turd that barks non-stop at 3 am every day of the week, set off some firecrackers, and watch that bastard shit a streak all the way home.

Makeshift catapults are great for lobbing random objects at crappy neighbors... Baggies full of sugar-water are sure to attract tons of ants to any given patio, and chunk tuna and/or hard-boiled eggs, when placed effectively, can create a rather unattractive smell anywhere after just a few hours in 120 degree weather. 

Super-Gluing locks sure can create confusion when someone can't get in their own house.

Washable spray paint doesn't cause any permanent damage but it sure can scare the shit out of someone when they think their house has been tagged. They usually don't figure out it's just a prank until it rains. Here in Phoenix, that process can take several months.

I should probably stop now...

[ski]

Tell them they're buggin you and you've had enough.

[dart kid]

Just do it back to them, see how they like it.

*IE*:

Their dog craps in your yard. You tell them about it, they give you a cold shoulder.

You then let your dog crap in their yard, and they yell at you. "See, how do you like it?"

[CudaSRT8]

Take the high road here.   Don't lower yourself to the standards of your trashy neighbors.   Don't do any vandalism or anything illegal.   Don't be an A-hole, but it's also time to stop being Mr. Niceguy.   You were nice enough to do their driveway and they stiffed you on the payment.   These people have no respect for YOU or the neighborhood, so start doing everything you can legally do.   Check the codes and ordinances and report them at least twice a week.   The authorities will start taking action (will HAVE to).   

There's very likely health and blight ordinances to help you out.    If you don't get help from the authorities in a reasonable amount of time ( 1-2 weeks ), start complaining in writing.  Complain about the smell, the rats, the blight, etc.   When your complaint is in writing, it tends to put extra pressure on the authorities to take action.   Be sure and document the date and time of any verbal complaints to the authorities and be sure to jot down the name of the person you report it to.   This will all come in handy IF you ever have to press the issue with the authorities for not taking action.   

There will likely be no reasoning with these people.   They're in a different world.   Don't worry about keeping on reasonably friendly terms with them, it's too late for that.   They won't respect your reasonable requests, they'll only respect the authorities ( to avoid fines and legal action ).   

I've seen these kinds of situations way too many times and personally had a similar situation with my neighbor (don't EVEN get me started).   Some people are just plain idiots.   Just a fact of life and a challenge you get to deal with...

[Mopartist]

  Oh my gosh! Some GREAT ideas. (At least good ones to fantisize about) I like the formal complaint ideas; and like some said; it's too late to try and negotiate this now. They KNOW I'm pissed (because i get kinda loud now) This all stems back to the owners who used to live there. Real assholes also. One of the room mates hit on my buddies wife across the street. He (my friend) showed up on my doorstep drunk with a S&W 357 threatening to shoot him. I felt I needed to intervene; so I told the guy next door his life was in mortal danger and he should flee before the neighborhood threw a blanket party or worse for him. (That didn't go over very well; but it was better than watching him get murdered) So they got pissed at me; and ended up renting to these low lifes now. The thing is that I didn't want to escalate the problem, and thats why I didn't file a complaint about the garbage in the first place, and the other neighbor did. But now they are showing total disrespect; so something must be done. It's on now! Thanks for the tips guys!

[MyCreation68]

Just do it back to them, see how they like it.

*IE*:

Their dog craps in your yard. You tell them about it, they give you a cold shoulder.

You then let your dog crap in their yard, and they yell at you. "See, how do you like it?"

better yet go out there yourself and leave a nice big drop on the lawn at night

But seriously. Report them as much as possible for as many reasons as you can. Maybe take a log of what issue and when and send a copy to the local authorities they love stuff in writing.

Your actually lucky because you have a crappy enough neighbour that they do enough stuff you can complain enough to get things changed. I've got neighbours who are idiots but don't do enough for me to be able to report them.

[acpat]

A.P.T.I.  problem solved. That means armor peircing tracer incendiary

[blasphemous]

If you want, I'll bring my Deuce and a half up and drive a hole through his house... for gas money

[chryco]

Oh my gosh! Some GREAT ideas. (At least good ones to fantisize about) I like the formal complaint ideas; and like some said; it's too late to try and negotiate this now. They KNOW I'm pissed (because i get kinda loud now) This all stems back to the owners who used to live there. Real assholes also. One of the room mates hit on my buddies wife across the street. He (my friend) showed up on my doorstep drunk with a S&W 357 threatening to shoot him. I felt I needed to intervene; so I told the guy next door his life was in mortal danger and he should flee before the neighborhood threw a blanket party or worse for him. (That didn't go over very well; but it was better than watching him get murdered) So they got pissed at me; and ended up renting to these low lifes now. The thing is that I didn't want to escalate the problem, and thats why I didn't file a complaint about the garbage in the first place, and the other neighbor did. But now they are showing total disrespect; so something must be done. It's on now! Thanks for the tips guys!

Don`t get too "involved " Let the law handle it . Call when they`re doing the dirtbike thing , prefferably when it`s early Sat or Sun A.M or after 9:00 at night. Take pictures / videos with the time stamp on for proof . The dumb bastards would just stand there and look at you if you confronted them with their  BS anyway.  Ask me, I have trailer trash living across from me too . The stupid 'tards have atleast 6 cars at any given time and have claimed the public street as their own ! Best of luck !
   Chryco

[Pedalkisses]

Sound like rude self centered people.  I'd use their trash dumpster and then complain to the township, since you did their driveway it's just a neighbor helping another neighbor.  I'd borrow something you need, and never give it back.  When they ask, tell them you sold it for the check fees you incurred from their bounced check.  I'd swing by the library and get all the magazine order cards, fill them out in your neighbors name and check off bill me later, then mail them.  Any opportunity you get to stick it to them do it.  Just mention to a cop you know about how the bikes are riding after the township ordinance time and the cop won't miss that.  Don't poison the cat.  You can get a big dog and you can't help what he does in your yard.   (I'd make their lives a living hell until they wanted to move.)

[dangerdawg]

whatever you do, have something to back you up, and do it the best you can.

[73swinger]

Build a really big fence

[B-onefan]

Stick it out, report to the proper people any problems. Sooner or later, they will get behind on the rent, or bounce another check to the utilities, and get shut off and be gone. I've seen it before and time is all it will take. People like that never stay in one place very long. Also, order a subscription to Playgirl or some gay magazine in his name, pay with a money order and have it shipped to a near by address, just not your own. Also, stop by the Military recruiter office and fill out all the services cards requesting more info about joining. They can be Very persistant. Good Luck

[NYrr496]

Get a small outboard motor. Build a stand so it will run in a garbage can full of water. Put it right on the property line and let it run... ALL the time.

[flyboy01]

Seriously, take the legal high road. Unless you are Chuck Norris or Steven Segal, you don't want to get into a fued with a neighbor. Keep reporting them, do everything by the book.

[eldubb440]

burn their house down............i get pissed just readin this kind of stuff......

and pedals wonders why my policy is:  "assume you hate the bastard, and make him prove you wrong"  or was it "smash his face with a brick"?....wait i have more 

[eldubb440]

our hilljack neighbors are pretty harmless

[PinkE]

Sound like rude self centered people.  I'd use their trash dumpster and then complain to the township, since you did their driveway it's just a neighbor helping another neighbor.  I'd borrow something you need, and never give it back.  When they ask, tell them you sold it for the check fees you incurred from their bounced check.  I'd swing by the library and get all the magazine order cards, fill them out in your neighbors name and check off bill me later, then mail them.  Any opportunity you get to stick it to them do it.  Just mention to a cop you know about how the bikes are riding after the township ordinance time and the cop won't miss that.  Don't poison the cat.  You can get a big dog and you can't help what he does in your yard.   (I'd make their lives a living hell until they wanted to move.)

Pedals I love the way you think...I would also build a catapult and launch the Dog Shit back into their yard...I hate picking up after a neighbors dog...If that doesn't work just bag a few in a brown paper bag, put it on their porch, light it up and ring the door bell...Also...Runlike hell but find a place where you can watch the outcome of them stomping out the flames...   YES....   I have done this...they got the message too.... ...

Eldub. looks like some serious inbreeding going on in Jersey......

[Mopartist]

our hilljack neighbors are pretty harmless

HAHAHAHA!  It'd be easier if they were a bit more like that. This neighbor wears camo all the time. A shaved, tatooed head, and a black beard down to the belt. Kinda scarey lookin. AND YOU SHOULD SEE HER HUSBAND!!!!!!

[guzzimike]

      

[illfish]

I love the idea of fire. 

[rarefish]

 I'm with CudaSRT8, stay to the high ground, it'll keep the muck from flowing over your shoe tops. Even though it's fun to think of all the devious things we could do. No nukes.I live in a rural area backing to farm land, 1 to 5 acre lots. The folks with 3 acre lots and larger can have a couple horses or cows. But, no swine or fowl, so the birds might to go, Joe.

[Mopartist]

Interestingly enough; As I drove in this morning; there was a turkey wing laying in the middle of the road with a couple of ravens picking at it. Maybe a fox or a coyote got to the aviary. Honestly; I wouldn't hurt an animal or a bird even though it's fun to laugh at the idea of getting rid of his "pets". I guess karma intervened. Hopefully he doesn't break out his hunting gear, (I assume with all that camo) and start blasting anything that moves.