Big Block Dart Forums banner
61 - 64 of 64 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,927 Posts
Discussion Starter · #61 ·


One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service", replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,927 Posts
Discussion Starter · #62 ·
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I thought you were my wife...[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,927 Posts
Discussion Starter · #63 ·
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]What did the doctor say?[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim." If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
"What did the doctor say?" [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"You're going to die," she replied.
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,927 Posts
Discussion Starter · #64 ·
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lottery Winner[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!"
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]​


She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] He replies, "I don't care...Just get the hell out!"
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
 
61 - 64 of 64 Posts
Top